و يبقي عندي ما يكفيني وحدي...

و يبقي عندي حنينٌ لماضيٍ ماتَ و ماتت معه ذكريات ما حسبتها ستموت يوماَ ما.. ويبقى عندي حزنٌ لن يشعر به احداًغيري لموت أشياءِ في ظروفٍ, ما ادركتُ يوماً إنها ستؤدي إلى الوفاه! ويبقى عندي المٌ لم أعد اشعر به ولكني على يقين إنه لازل موجوداً في مكاناٍ ما... ويبقى عندي بعض المشاعر التائهة ماعدتُ أريد الإحتفاظ بهاومازلت خائفةً من منحها لأحداً.. و يبقى عندي بصيصٌ من النور في ظل الظلام القاتم ليعطيني املاً في حياةٍ ماعاد فيها أي أمل.. و يبقى عندي من الإنسانية مايفوق الكثيرون مجتمعون في زمنٍ فقدَ فيه البشر انسانيتهم.. ويبقى عندي من الوفاء مايكفيني لأعيش في زمن ما عاد الوفاء فيه لغةً يفهمها البشر... و يبقي عندي ما يكفيني وحدي..وحدي فقط!

اليأس خيانة ..

 اقعد من سكات و مترغيش كتير؛ احمد ربنا و حاول تفهم ان ده الخير ليك و ان دي رحمة ربنا عليك, و ما تيأسش, لأن اليأس خيانة! سيبها علي ربنا يدبرهلك زي ميدبرها تيجي احسن ما انت عايز، تيجي مش علي مزاجك، و لا حتي متجيش خالص هو ده اللي ربنا كاتبهولك. متقولش يا ريت و متقولش مانا لو كنت، و لا دي و لا دي هتغير اي حاجة من ده؛ حاول تغهم ان ده اللي كان برضه هيحصل حتي لو كانت الظروف اتغيرت، اصله درس و كنت لازم تتعلمه و كله في وقته. حاول ترضي لانك مهما تخيلت عمرك ما هتفهم الحكمة في وجع قلبك او حيرت بالك او احساسك بالضيق و هتفضل تسئل نفسك اشمعني انا و ليه كده و بتنسي اهم حاجة ان ربنا رحيم و كريم اوي و بيختبرك عشان يشوفك هترضي و تحمد و لا هتعترض و تنقم علي قضاء ربك اللي بيحبك.برضه ما تتغيرش, اعمل اللي عليك, اللي يرضي ربنا و يرضيك, افضل كبير في عنيك حتي لو اللي قدامك صغير, و احترم نفسك قبل ما تحترم اللي قدامك اعمل خير حتي لو اللي قدامك مايتسهلش و افتكر انك بتعملوا عشان ربناو و اللي عند ربنا ما بيضعش. اتعلم من الدرس و اشكر ربنا و ماتبوصش وراك عشان ربنا في ظهرك و " وَكَفَى بِاللَّهِ وَلِيًّا وَكَفَى بِاللَّهِ نَصِيرًا" ربنا يجبر بخاطرنا و يريح بالنا و يطبطب علي قلوبنا :)

A letter for my sisters ..

Dearest Sisters, As I see you grow in front of my eyes to the beautiful young ladies you have become, I wanted you to know and always remember that as an eldest sister and as we grew up, I will always be your backbone to support, I will always be the extra mind when you need someone else to think with you,I will always be your mirror, I will show you the bad in you before others can see it and help you change it, I will show you the best in you and help you grow it, I will help you bloom, I will guide you along the way to your passion, I will encourage you in whatever you decide to do or decisions you take, I will be the mother when you need wisdom, the father when you need strictness or money, and the brother when you need brotherly support !I will be the shoulder when you need to cry, the arms when you need a hug, the hands to lift you whenever you fall, the eyes to watch out for you, the tongue when you fail to express your thoughts in words and most importantly a concience when you need to be reminded of what's right and what's wrong.. I will let you fall only to help you to get the learning, however I will have your back covered and I will help you to stand up again, let go and never look back whatever it takes us to make this happen, and I will always hold your hands like I always did since we were kids,I will always feel resposinble for you, I will always take care of you and I won't let anyone ever hurt you, and when I die my soul will still haunt you because I promised I will always be there for you.. Girls, you give a meaning to my life.. Yours, Your eldest sister !

رسائل ربانية ..

اوقات ربنا بيحطنا في مواقف صعبة عشان عاوزنه نرجعله و ندعيله ما هو اللي قال "وَإِذَا سَأَلَكَ عِبَادِي عَنِّي فَإِنِّي قَرِيبٌ أُجِيبُ دَعْوَةَ الدَّاعِ إِذَا دَعَانِ" ، خلينا ندعي و ربنا مش هيخيب ظننا ابدا ما هو مفيش احسن من سجدة تكلم ربنا فيها و تقوله علي اللي في قلبك عسي انه يرزقنا راحة البال و القلب.. و لو عاوز حاجة اوي في حياتك اصبر عليها و اتقي ربنا فيها ، هتيجي في وقتها لو كانت نصيبك،و افتكر ديما ان ربنا قال "يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اصْبِرُوا وَصَابِرُوا وَرَابِطُوا وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ " ان شاء الله هنفلح بس المسألة مسالة وقت. و لو الناس مستعجلة في كل أمور حياتها زي حالاتي ، وكل حاجة بتجلها بسرعة و تروح منها بسرعة و مش فاهمة ليه بتروح افتكروا ديما ان الصبر مفتاح الفرج و ربنا قال "فَصَبْرٌ جَمِيلٌ" و الاخير ربه كريم و لو زعلان من حاجة و قلبك وجعك عشان مش فاهم ليه حصلت. افتكر ان ربنا برضه قال "وَعَسَى أَنْ تَكْرَهُوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ خَيْرٌ لَكُمْ وَعَسَى أَنْ تُحِبُّوا شَيْئًا وَهُوَ شَرٌّ لَكُمْ وَاللَّهُ يَعْلَمُ وَأَنْتُمْ لَا تَعْلَمُونَ" سيبها علي ربنا و الله ما في احسن منه يدبرهالك ..و لو عندك مشكله كبيرة في حياتك او مواقف حاسس انه اكبر منك ، و حاسس انك مش عارف تعمل ايه و انه حياتك وقفت و ان الدنيا مش هتمشي عشان مش قادر تزق اكتر من كده ، افتكروا دايما " لا يُكَلِّفُ اللَّهُ نَفْسًا إِلَّا وُسْعَهَا " لو كان ربنا مش شايفنا قدها ماكنش حطنا فيها بس ساعات لازم نتحط في مواقف فاكرينها اكبر مننا عشان نعرف نتطلع احسن ما جوانا اللي هو بتدبير ربنا بيطلع اكبر من اللي كنا فيه. و لو الحاجة دي طولت و نهايتها معجبتاكش و كان نفسك في حاجة تانية افتكر تاني ان ربنا اللي قال" لَا تَدْرِي لَعَلَّ اللَّهَ يُحْدِثُ بَعْدَ ذَلِكَ أَمْرًا" في كل الاحوال ده الخير اللي ربنا قادرهلنا و مفيش احسن من تقدير ربنا .. ما هو الواحد مهما كانت ظروفه او حياته مش هيلاقي احسن من ربنا يكون وكيله افتكروا ديما ان ربنا قال" وَتَوَكَّلْ عَلَى اللَّهِ وَكَفَى بِاللَّهِ وَكِيلاً" عايز ايه احسن من كده :) ؟. الواحد مش هيلاقي احسن من ربنا يرمي توكاله عليه.. و لما تعمل خير و ميتقدرش افتكر انك عامله لربنا و اللي عند ربنا مبيروحش ما هو ربنا اللي وعدنا ان اللي عنده بيتضاعف في قوله تعالي "مَّن ذَا الَّذِي يُقْرِضُ اللَّهَ قَرْضًا حَسَنًا فَيُضَاعِفَهُ لَهُ أَضْعَافًا كَثِيرَةً" .. كل اللي فات ده رسايل من ربنا لينا و وعود لو نفهمها والله بالنا يرتاح و افتكروا ديما " وَعْدَ اللَّهِ لا يُخْلِفُ اللَّهُ وَعْدَهُ وَلَكِنَّ أَكْثَرَ النَّاسِ لا يَعْلَمُونَ" بس احنا اللي غوين شقي !

تلك القصص ...

عن تلك القصص التي بدون مُسميات و عن تلك الحكايات التي بدون نهايات.. و تبقي تلك القصص الأشدُ ألماً في أنفسنا وتبقي تلك الحكايات الأكثر تعقيداً..فنحن نبقي نتخيل نهايات عديدة ،بحكايات مختلفة و روايات تروقُ لنا.. ونُفكر في الكلمات التي كنا نُودُ سماعِها لكنها لم يُنطق بها و بقيت مجرد تخُيلات ..ونحاول أن ننسي أو نتناسي الكلمات التي كنا نُود لو صممنا قبل أن نسمُعها.. و نفشل في تذكر ما نود أن نتذكره فقط و نفشل أكثر في نسيان ما أردنا نسيانه..و نبقي نحن و الذكريات..و تأتي تلك القصص بأسئلة كثيرة ، أسئلة غير مرتبة و أكثرها مؤلمه، كيف, لماذا و متي , بعضهم لا يمُلك لها أحد أي إجابة منطقية ، و بعضهم بأجابات, اجابات لا تروق لنا, إجابات لا نريد سماعها و أن سمعناها لا نفهمها ، و أن فهمناها نرفض تصديقها.. لا نفهمها ليست لقصور في تفكيرنا, لكن هربا من تأنيب الضمير.. حتي لا نعترف بتقصيرنا في حق أنفسنا..و حتي نُلقي اللوم علي غيرنا و ننتظر منهم الاعتذار لما بدر منهم في حقنا , و لو كنا فكرنا لأدركنا أننا أولي بالأعتذار لأنفسنا لما بدر منا تجاهاها.. لقد أرهقناها بما يستحق و أرهقناها أكثر بما لا يستحق.. مثل تلك القصص التي كنا ندرك فشلها قبل الدخول فيها..تلك القصص بدون مسميات !

The Way To your Serenity..

Trust me, everything happens for a reason.. I know you might not be happy with it.. But eventually you will .. You won't be happy until you get to know the reason why it happened, until you understand the wisdom behind it.. Till then, make peace with it. That's the only way to your serenity..

Take your heart and run ..

And when you fail to know where you stand for them, take your heart and leave .. Standing there will only break your heart .. And mending your heart is not an easy thing, it will take more time than you think , even more than the time you took standing there figuring out the situation... Trust me, it is not worth it, No one is worth breaking your heart, and if they are worth it, they will not leave you wonder..So please, Take your heart and run ..

في حياتنا ...

في حياتنا في ناس بتيجي و ناس بتروح و ناس بتفضل و كله مش بمزاجنا بس نصيبنا .. في حياتنا ناس بتدخل واحدة واحدة و تبعد واحدة واحدة و ناس بتدخل بسرعة و تخرج بسرعةو ناس بتدخل فجأة و تطلع عاملة دوشة.. في حياتنا ناس مهمين لينا و أحنا مش مهمين ليهم و ناس مش مهمين لينا و أحنا مهمين ليهم... في حياتنا في حد هو كل حد بالنسبة لينا و احنا أي حد بالنسبة ليهم و برضه في حد احنا بالنسبة له كل حد و هو زيه زي أي حد لينا.. في حياتنا في حد مش هنشوفوا بنفس الطريقة اللي اول مرة شوفنها بيها.. في حياتنا ناس نفسنا يرجعوا حياتنا و ناس نفسنا نفضل في حياتهم و ناس خايفيين يخلونا في حياتهم و ناس خايفين نخليهم في حياتنا و عقبال ما بناخد قرار بيكون الوقت فات ! في حياتنا في ناس هتخذلنا من غير متقصد و في حاجة هتتكسر من غير منقصد و حاجة هتفضل بايظة علي طول.. في حياتنا هنقول حاجات منقصدهاش و هنخبي حاجات نفسنا نقولها و بين ده و ده حاجات كتير هتضيع.. في حياتنا هنعمل حاجات لناس متستهلش و نقول حاجات معناها كبيرعليهم و متتفهمش و الاوحش اننا في الاخر مبنتقدرش.. في حياتنا هنقابل ناس الدنيا هتكتب علينا نبعد عنهم و ننساهم لكن هيفضلوا جوانا .. في حياتنا حد هيدخل حياتنا و يلمس حاجة عمر ما حد غيره يعرف يلمسها و يخدها معه و هو ماشي.. في حياتنا حد هيدخل و لما يخرج حياتنا مش هترجع زي الاول. .

The Fear You Won't Fall ..

And it all starts by meeting a person. A person that you choose to believe that you will never fall for because they are not your type and you will never be on the same page.. Or you choose to convince yourself that you will never be on the same page.. And then you get to know them.. the more you know them, the more you choose to convince yourself that you will not fall for them.. And every step you get closer, you are not only closer to them, you are closer to fall.. the closer you get, the more you convince yourself you won't fall.. And every step you think you took back is a step that gets you closer and brings a lot of fear! And you start ticking boxes in your head .. And then you start neglecting your mind and start crossing lines in your heart..And you start falling.. And you enjoy it.. And then your fear wins again.. So you stop crossing lines in your heart and start ticking boxes in your head..Because your fear of falling, your fear of suffering and your selfishness became bigger than your courage to fall and be with this person.. And after ticking all the boxes in your head, you start crossing all the lines in your heart again because you no longer think about the fear you won't fall.. And it becomes too late, because every time you have let them down was a time that pushed them further.. And every time you ignored them was a time they shed a tear, and every time they were disappointed is a time that made them untick a box in their head ... If you fall for someone let them know because who knows if tomorrow never comes!! PS: the title is the name of my fav song Youtube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIvU1ETg7H8

And this was worth the try..

You may be truthful and sincere to people who don't deserve but the most important thing that you were truthful and sincere to yourself in the first place, and this was worth the try.. You may show your other side, hidden side, fragile side, the side you would never want to reveal, to people who wouldn't understand but the most important thing that you knew you can, and this was worth the try.. You may do the right thing with the wrong people, or do the wrong thing with the right people, but the most important thing that you will think before doing it next time, and this was worth the try.. You may break your heart so many times before it turns to stone and you may break it so many times before it opens, but the most important thing that you will decide what you want, and this was worth the try.. Hearts may be invaded for the wrong reasons by the wrong people, but the most important thing you will know that your heart is precious and next time you will not allow the wrong people in, and this was worth the try.. You may learn the hard way, or learn the easy way, but the most important thing that you will learn, and that was worth the try!

كام سؤال ..

كام قلب فتح بابه و دخل الحد الغلط؟ و كام قلب اتكسر من دخلتهم دي؟ و كام حد كان عنده الشجاعة انه يخرجهم زي مدخلهم؟ و كام حد حاول يخرجهم مستنيهم يمسكوا فيه و يثبتوا العكس؟ و كام واحد بني حوالين نفسه اسوار مش بيسمح لحد يعديها و متخيل ان ده الامان ؟ و كام واحد اسواره اتكسرت، لا عرف يحافط عليها و لا عرف يرجع زي الاول ؟ و كام واحد خاف يحب تاني عشان اتعلم الدرس الغلط في الوقت الصح؟ و كام واحد خاف يحب تاني عشان خايف علي قلبه من الناس الصح اللي ممكن تطلع غلط؟ و كام واحد حب مهمهوش عشان اتعلم الدرس صح و اختار صح؟ طيب و كام واحد فتح قلبه لناس خبطتت و جريت ؟. و كام واحد فتح قلبه لناس خبطتت و مكانتش جاهزة ؟ و كام واحد فضل قافل مفتحش عشان خوفه كان اكبر منه؟ و كام واحد لما خاف بوظ كل حاجة ؟ و كام واحد قلبه اتكسر و مخدش باله ان في حاجات لما بتتكسر مبتتصلحش و لما بتتصلح مبترجعش زي الاول و لو رجعت يفضل الكسر معلم فيها؟ حاسب تكسر حاجة منتاش اد انك تخسرها او اكبر من انك تعرف تصلحها ...

اسئلة وجودية ..

دماغي مليناه اسئلة ملهاش اجابات و من كتر الاسئلة حاسة ان دماغي شبه ميدان طلعت حرب وقت الذروة و بما أني مبخبيش عليكوا حاجة أقلت اشاركوا الاسئلة دي يمكن حد ابن حلال يطلع عنده اجابه .. سؤال وجودي رقم 1: ليه الناس بتاكل و متتخنش ؟ واحدة زي حالاتي بتعمل دايت من 2003 ، بلاش طب نكلم جد شوية سؤال وجودي رقم 2: ليه الناس بتقول حاجات و هي قاصدها حاجات تانيه ؟ ايو يعني ايه الفكرة من كده ؟؟انا شخصيا واحدة الحياة عندي يا ابيض يا اسود مبفهمهاش غير كده !سؤال وجودي رقم 3: ليه في ناس بتكذب و معندهمش الشجاعة يعترفوا ؟ الكذب ده اسوء نوع من انواع عدم الاحترام و الوجع المعنوي ، بزعل اوي لما اعرف أين مشتهلتش اعرف الحقيقة.. سؤال وجودي رقم 4: ليه لما بنحب حد، الحد ده يطلع بيحبنا و خلاص ، ليه لازم الناس قلبها يوجعها و لازم بالهم يتعب؟ربنا ما يعلق قلبنا بحد عمره ما كان لينا. سؤال وجودي رقم 5: ليه الناس متحترمش بعد و كل واحد بيعامل التاني يتعامل بالصح و الغلط مش زي ما المجتمع بيفرض عليه ولا زي ما هو عايز يتعامل؟ سؤال وجودي رقم 6: ليه الناس بطلت تقدر الصراحة و بقيت تحب اللف و الدوران غير كده تبقي انت مش ناصح و متعجبش و لازم نحير بعض ، و ده كان قصده و ده كان قصده ، مالها الصراحه يعني مبقيتش موضه و لا ايه؟؟ سؤال وجودي رقم 7: ليه الدنيا مبتمشيش زي ما بنخططها لنفسنا؟ يجري ايه يعني لو الواحد حصاله كل حاجة هو نفسه فيها وقت ماهو عاوز (ده سؤال عارفة اجابته بس احب اطرحه برضه) سؤال وجودي رقم 8: ليه دايما لازم يا قلبنا يوجعنا و بالنا يتشغل بحاجات ملهاش لازمة و احنا عارفين ان ملهاش لازمة بس بنقول يمكن غباء ده و لا أمل و لا ناس فقرية غاوية نكد زي حالاتي؟ سؤال وجودي رقم 9: ليه لما حاجة بتتكسر مش بتتصلح و لو اتصلحت مبترجعش زي الاول؟ اه و الله ليه ؟؟ سؤال وجودي رقم 10: هي الناس الصادقة في مشاعرها ،الناس الكويسة يتاعت زمان، الناس اللي كانوا بيسؤلوا علي بعد من غير مصالح و يحبوا بعد من غير مصالح و يتمنوا لبعد الخير عشان هما ناس طيبين اوي يا خال ، الناس دي راحت فين ؟؟ #اه_يانا

Sad but True!

It is always sad to get the answer for the most unanswered question, did they change or that was them all the time and we were too blind to notice.. It is always sad to know that they didnt change, and that was them, to only find that we were searching for excuses to ignore who they are and love who they might become! It is always sad to know that the love we had for them was always for a person that didn't exist in the first place.. It is always sad to know that we were never worth the truth.. And what's even more sad that the only thing we thought was true turns to be fake.. It is always sad to know that we exerted effort and time with the wrong person.. And what's even more sad that the wrong people never understood the reason behind exerting our effort and time.. It is always sad how we spend time dwelling over and over again about the change that didn't happen or the love that didn't exist in the first place.. It is always sad how we keep thinking for excuses to deceive ourselves and to think that facts existed but we never noticed.. It is always sad how we spend time getting over the fact that facts never existed.. It is always sad to know that we did this to ourselves by our ownselves.. Yes,It is always sad but it is true!

Don't Judge !

Don’t Judge, for you never know the battles a person has gone through.. Don't Judge, for you will never understand that the hardest battles a person can go through are the battles in their head, and everyone has their own battles in their head.. Don't Judge, for that every person had a different battle than yours and how they deal with it don't necessarily define them! Don't judge because everyone had their own battle and that's enough for them ! Every person had a battle that made them lose something they love or afraid to lose something they love.. Only the strong people know that losing is not the end of world! Every person had a battle that made them change to another person, and the outcome depends on their strength to fight.. Some people were weak to fight and they became the person they never wanted to become.. Some people were strong to fight back and they became the people they aspired to become.. Every person had a battle that changed their perspective in life, the strong person will fight to understand that lesson, take the learning and move on with a satisfied and happy perspective while the weak person will settle for what they see and got! Every person had a battle with the wrong people, and they will always feel thankful for knowing they are strong enough with or without them to have passed the battle on their own. Every person had a battle with the "what ifs" and the "unanswered questions", and they will never end the battle until they decide they want to set a closure for them all. Every person had a battle with their dreams to achieve them, some were courageous enough to pursue them and some lost interest with the first hardship. Every person had a battle that drained their effort, some were wise enough to stand up, recharge and move on and some used the remaining energy in building walls that drained more energy, time and effort. Every person had a battle with their walls, they tried to break them, get over them or even make them higher and it all depends on their state of mind. Every person has passed in battles, and there are no easy battles but there are strong fighters.. so never judge a strong fighter,for they have gone through a lot ..

I break down and cry ..

That's a 10 years old piece that I wrote in 2003 ! When I remember the tears I’ve cried, And the memories that have died, I break down and cry… When I remember my heartache, And the love which was a great mistake, I break down and cry… When I remember your name, engraved in my heart, And my little wishes to never get apart, I break down and cry… When I remember that I was forgotten,And my memory turned to be rotten, I break down and cry… When I remember losing my happiness and smiles, And you paving the way to them with miles, I break down and cry… When I remember the ugly truth that was so clear, And my dreadful pain, which was sever, I break down and cry… When I remember I needed no gesture, no sigh And the truth did appear as the time elapsed by, I break down and cry… When I remember losing my innocence and my purity, And you never had the feeling of shame or guilty, I break down and cry… When I remember the fake, untrue feelings, And the words that totally lost their meanings, I break down and cry… When I remember the promises that have been promised, And the every good thing that you’ve missed, I break down and cry… When I remember that I was ready to compromise, And that you’ve been acting like a devil in disguise, I break down and cry… When I remember the way u wanted to hold me tight, And the way you acted, while am out of your sight, I break down and cry… When I remember the one, who was nice, And tried to melt my heart which was made of ice, I break down and cry… When I remember your touch, your look, And the first of everything you took, I break down and cry… When I remember that you were everything in my life, And your voice saying I am your all, your wife, I break down and cry… When I remember that all those things were deception, And you’ve been trying to deceive me in perfection, I break down and cry… When I remember the amends you used to make, And the love passion and feelings you used to fake, I break down and cry… When I remember the things you’ve done for my sake, And my heart which you tried in everyway to break, I break down and cry… When I remember the hurting words you’ve said, And making me feel like I’m dead, I break down and cry… When I remember your soul uniting with mine, And leaving in morning as the sun did shine, I break down and cry… When I remember all the bad things that you made, And the ugly memories which doesn't want to fade, I break down and cry… When I remember the weird reasons you used to tell, And trying in every possible way sending me to hell, I break down and cry… When I remember how fast u did let go of me, And the ugly evidence you’ve been helping me to see I break down and cry… When I remember your unfaithfulness and ingratitude, And your strange and elusive attitude, I break down and cry… When I remember that you’ve betrayed me in every way, And the sleepless nights you’ve helped me to stay, I break down and cry… When I remember that you’ve turned me into wreck, And made everything in my life do suck, I break down and cry… When I remember my agony and my depression, And the great, unbearable and unforgettable lesson, I break down and cry… When I remember how you did capture my heart, And that you were fooling and deceiving me from the start, I break down and cry… When I remember the memories you’ve buried and revive, And trying to make me never feel alive, I break down and cry… When I remember your love that doesn’t want to fade away, And you acting with me as if I am a prey, I break down and cry… When I remember the insincere feeling you had, And the endure treatment that turned me sad, I break down and cry… When I remember that I was ready to cope with all this, And thinking of your love as a great bliss, I break down and cry…. When I remember that you used to think of my love, And the things I’ve done for you as a gift from above, I break down and cry… When I remember that I was too possessive, And you were too submissive, I break down and cry… When I remember that to me u were priority one, And to you I was kind of a game just for fun, I break down and cry… When I remember that to me you were priceless, And to you I was something worthless, I break down and cry… When I remember how we used to stick together, And thought that our love is going to stay forever, I break down and cry… But now I discovered that no use for me to cry, After realizing that your love is an empty meaningless LIE

Perceptions..

They say that happiness is a state of mind, and that every bad thought we had, could have been replaced by a happy one instead. They say that everything we want to happen will only happen if we decide we want it enough. They also say we perceive anything the way we want to and this could be reflected on every good thing we thought it was bad, or every bad thing we thought it was good. And Every time we look at a light hair we have, we can think it’s a yellow one or a white one depending on our state of mind and how we want to see it. Every time we had a broken heart, we can think that death already came and got us or think it was the best experience depending on our state of mind and how we want to think about it. Every time a loved one leaves us, we can think it is time to learn that tomorrow might never come and we need to exert time and effort showing them how much we love them before they leave, or we can sink into depression and get stuck into the past and never move on. Every time we say the wrong things, we can think it is the end of world, set the whole "what if" scenario, or decide to learn from our mistakes and never look back again. Every time we decide to move on and fail, we can think we failed because we don’t have the energy to move on and we are waiting for someone to help us, or believe that we might need to put more effort into moving on so that we eventually can and really do. Every time we wait for someone to come a long and change all the things we want to change, we can really believe that this someone will help us change and sit still or we believe that we are strong enough to embrace the change we want to see and change it on our own and then we turn to be the change we want to see in the world! It all depends on our state of mind..May we always have a positive state of mind..

Get out of your comfort zone!

Every time we lose something we really loved or we really wanted, we think that the world has ended, meanwhile a new world has started with new meanings and definitions.. Meanings and definitions that we never thought they existed at the first place and it is only because we are getting out of our comfort zone! We will only get to grow up and discover who we are when we get out of our comfort zone and experience other things, bad things, interesting things, happy things, sad things and most importantly new things so that we can get a learning out of each and every thing! And when we get the learning, we have to be sure that this is the plan for us, even if we don't like it, even if we are not convinced, even if we are not happy about it, but definitely there is a wisdom that we cannot comprehend in the meantime and most importantly there is a reason for us to get out of our comfort zone and experience the other world. We need to move on. While moving on we will be impressed to discover the other side of us. A side that we never knew it existed. One way or another we will find strength in our weaknesses, happiness in our sadness, simplicity in our complications, fragility in our toughness, kindness in our wickedness and most importantly Love in our hatred. And all the faces we have been wearing in and out of our comfort zone, soon will melt with the real us and we will find a definition for who we are! We will no more suffer to wear a different mask every time we get out of our comfort zone, or even suffer from wearing our real masks and we shall always remind our hearts that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. I hope we don’t lose our identity in our journey to find our comfort zone! PS: there is one statement copied from Paulo Coelho

عشان احنا في الاخر بني ادمين...

#عن كل مرة قلنا اشمعنا احنا.. و#عن كل مرة قلنا ليه مش أنا.. #عن كل مرة كان نفسنا في حاجة وماحصلتش.. و#عن كل حاجة حاصليتلناومكنش بالضرورة نفسنا فيها.. #عن درس مافهمناهوش وعمرنا معرفنا نحفظه وافتكرناه أصعب درس في حياتنا.. و#عن درس حفظناه وعلم فيناوعمرنا مانسيناه وبجد طلع هو ده الدرس الأصعب.. #عن كل حاجة حلوة أو وحشة حصليتلنا ونسينا نشكر ربنا عليها.. و#عن كل حاجة حلوة أو وحشة حاصليتلناو حمدنا ربنا ألف مرة عليها.. #عن حاجة كرهناها وهي خير لينا.. و#عن حاجة حبناها وهي مكنتش خير لينا.. #عن حاجات بتحصلنا عمرنا ماهنفهم بتحصل ليه.. و#عن حاجات حصلت مع مرور الوقت بنتأكد إن ربناكبير قوي علينا.. #عن ال 24 قيراط اللي ربنا مقسمهم بعدله علينا.. و#عن كل مرة اعتراضنا على التقسيمة دي عشان احنا في الاخر بني ادمين...

The Curse..

The curse of falling in love with someone who's not right, The curse that changes love, from romance to a deadly fight, The curse that slices the heart, and breaks it into pieces, The curse that makes lies and deception its thesis, he curse that hides the truth and manipulates the brain, The curse that makes you lose while you think you gain, The curse that makes you dream every night of its magic, The curse that makes you think without using any logic, The curse that makes you happy and fills your eyes with tears, The curse that makes you safe while surrounding you with fears, The curse that let you do many things that are not smart, The curse that makes you think that the end is only a new start, The curse that can destroy a life with a simple smile, The curse that can with looks put your heart on a trial, The curse that makes you see all the black as white, The curse that makes you scream at the middle of the night, The curse that can kill, bury and revive, The curse that makes you live without a sensible drive, The curse that makes you say things you don’t mean, The curse that puts pressure on you till you lean, The curse that makes you feel like you have disease you cant treat, The curse that put you in challenges you know you cant meet, The curse that controls you no matter how you try, The curse that you cannot control its power to fight or even cry, The curse that makes you patient and teaches you to wait, The curse that you discover when its only too late.

We only come to love a person..

We only come to love a person, when love, trust and respect are the foundations for this relation and when kindness, care and sincerity are the languages spoken.. We only come to love a person by knowing their complications, sophistications and most importantly knowing how to handle them.. We only come to love a person by acknowledging our differences and most importantly understand them.. We only come to love a person by sitting together silently and still be able to enjoy the silence.. We only come to love a person by knowing that we can still look at them with all the love in the world even when they are at their worst.. We only come to love a person when we are able to accept instead of expect.. We only come to love a person, when we give to them without any expectations and find them giving to us the the best which is feeling appreciated.. We only come to love a person when we wake up knowing that they are the only person we want them for the rest of our lives..

When everything becomes awkward !

Sometimes when things change and go wrong, our minds refuse to believe it and our hearts hope that its not true. We start acting normal hoping that it’s only in our heads.. Yet everything feels different! And even worse, it feels awkward.. You can feel the awkwardness even in things that would normally seem okay. And the silence becomes awkward, the talks become awkawrd and what seemed music to your ears became the source of your heartache..And awkwardness becomes the only normal.. You start avoiding eachother, and every sweet thing that used to remind us of them became something bitter..Things really changed and all our thoughts, actions and most importantly feelings will depend on our ability to understand and accept the change . we act like we understand or whats even worse pretend that we do because we can’t understand anymore! And we act like we feel normal or whats even worse pretend that we do because we can’t feel like it anymore! And we act like we listen or whats even worse pretend we do because we can’t listen anymore! And it's only about asking questions, pretending that we have found the answers and wishing that things will change one day!

Thank You ..

For people who color the world with their feelings. For people who fill the world with their smiles even when they pretend to. For people who don’t learn the easy way and have to do great mistakes to learn their lesson. For all the mistakes they had done and they are still willing to do them again for how they felt while they were doing them. For people who listen or pretend they are listening even when they were not able to. For people who don’t regret making other people happy even if it was not appreciated. For people who have done things that lost their meaning and most importantly the intention behind them and they didn’t give up doing them. And for people who lost track of their dreams and thoughts and they didn’t lose hope. For the extreme people. For the supportive people. For the complicated people. For the thoughtful people. For the considerate people.For people who find their happiness in little things. For people who make other people happy. For people who do one act of kindness everyday..Thank you for keeping the human inside of you alive.

This goes to someone beautiful ..

This goes to every person who blamed themselves for things that went wrong.. This goes to the same person who has never seen the complete picture, because if they did, they would have known that they are only part of the equation and the blame is not only theirs.. This goes to every person who asked themselves "why this happened?" And "why me?" ... This goes to the same person who never wanted to believe that everything happens for a reason , because if they did, they would have stopped asking questions and waited for answers in the right time... This goes to every person who loved someone,had their heart broken or even broke someone's heart and everything went down the drain.. This goes to the same person, who will only believe that if it was meant to be it would have found a way and will thank God for that until they meet the right person... This goes to someone who keeps reading the last chapter of their life over and over again.. This goes to the same person who will get a new life and a better one only if they decided to close the book, get The learning and move on.. This goes to someone who felt sad because someone gave up on them.. This goes to the same person who will feel sorry for them because they gave up on the person who will never have given upon them.. This goes to every person who over thinks and depressed.. This goes to a beautiful person, who needs to select their thoughts because if they do, someday they will believe that they mean the world for someone and they will only know whenever the time is right.. PS: this goes to a very special friend, I love you!

When everything becomes in the past..

Please note that all persons entering a heart do so at their own risk. Please take care of your belongings and don't let anyone in because one day you realise that there are some people you'll never see again. At least not in the same way..
And it all starts with someone you meet, someone that was never in your head, someone who became the only one because they decided to and they became stranger because they also decided to..
And it all ends when that person you "know" becomes the person you "knew" .. when all what you "want" becomes all what you "wanted",  when all the "actions" become just "words", when all your "dreams" become "memories", when all your "conversations" become "thoughts in your head" and when the places you "always go" to become the places you "never" want to go to again. And then you get a broken heart..
So I really hope you take good care of your heart..

Wake Up Call

So the first white hair strikes me, an accident for a dear friend strikes me, the sudden death of my friend strikes me , the sickness of a close family member strikes me and every down we had as a family strikes me and it was all about being struck without acting differently, without waking up ! We all have priorities , different ones , wrong ones, right ones , priorities that need to be prioritized in different manner, all we need is to wake up before a big huge thing strikes us! Set your priorities the way that makes you and people important to you peaceful and happy :)

And if they would, they could ..

Sometimes when things go wrong and we hope that they would go on the right track again, we wish if things went differently, if we have done other things, if we have said wiser things, if we have thought of things and approached them in a different manner in an attempt to fix them. And never the less we try to invest more time in changing things, ignoring the fact that if they really wanted to excu...se us, if they really wanted us in their lives, if they really wanted to invest time and effort in changing what went wrong, they wouldn't have given us the what's if and could haves. They would have tried help us fix things without even make us feel that things went wrong. They would have invested effort in making us comfortable in our most disturbing condition! So don't invest effort and time, don't waste your happiness and mental peace with people who are not willing to do the same for you.. Because if everyone would, they could and just because they wouldn't then they couldn't :)

The Missing Piece Meets The Big O

Inspired by "The Missing Piece Meets The Big O"

Sometimes we seek other people to find love ignoring that we have within us more love then we could find in anyone or even anyone could ever understand..
Sometimes we seek love to find what we want, lack or even miss by finding it in other people ignoring that if we looked inside ourselves, everything we wanted, everything we lacked and everything we missed is inside us but we are not looking closely. They will only come out if we let them...
Sometimes we love the people expecting them to change ignoring that if we love them without expectations, calculations, negotiations and accepting them as they are that's heaven..
Sometimes we wait for someone to come along and take us to places we have never been to, or even help us change. Some other times we wait for them to break our walls, ignoring that we are the ones who allow them and if we cannot do it on our own, no one else will be able to do it..
Sometimes we meet people that we are willing to always give to them without taking back and we keep thinking about excuses for them, maybe they never learnt to give back or whats even worse that they dont need what we are giving and we need to stop giving.
Sometimes we meet other people that are willing to go the extra mile for us and give us more than they take from us and still we cant do anything differently.
Sometimes we meet the right people, people who complete us, the perfect match and best fit but it is never the right time and they were never meant to be.
Sometimes we love the wrong people, people who are totally different and were never matching, we always knew it and we couldnt do anything to change it and we will thank God that it was never meant to be.
Sometimes we love the wrong people in the right time or even love the right people in the wrong time and at the end it doesn't matter because it was never meant to be.
Sometimes we will always meet people who will teach us something new everytime, and we will learn from them the hard way or even the easy way and if we don't get the lesson the easy way, we might take the lesson again..
Sometimes it will mean to be and sometimes it will not and we shall always remember that we have within us more love than we could ever understand..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCmZ2jrQooE&feature=share

Every Time Our Heart Breaks..

They once said "You have to keep breaking your hear until it opens" and they also said " Your task is not seek love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it" and I say that breaking your heart will always open your eyes to other things, good things and deep things you have never known they existed before in you..
Breaking your heart and understanding the reasons behind it open your eyes to see the barriers. Sometimes those barriers are coming from within us, they might be our complications, insecurities or even our fear of commitment.. Some other times those barriers are not us, it is other people that we cannot have them in our lives and by breaking our heart we understand that we cannot have them or have people who are like them in our lives again because it shall break our hearts again..
Every time our heart breaks  and we manage to heal it, is a time where we have broken a wall that was already built in.. Every time our heart breaks and we manage to stand up again and move on, is a time where we move towards crossing all barriers.. Every time our heart breaks is a lesson that we need to learn.. And every time our heart breaks it breaks for a reason that we might not understand now, but for sure it's God's plan... May you never get a broken heart :)

Dont Give Up !

Nothing is worse than giving up on your dreams .. Giving up on your dreams is like losing that part of your heart, that part that loved the dream and got attached to it.
Giving up on your dreams is like losing that part of your soul, that part that visualized your dream, that part of you that actually lived the dream and saw it happening, even if it is all in your head..
Giving up on your dream is like wasting your energy in thoughts that you didn't exert enough efforts to pursue them further..
Giving up on your dreams is an extreme act of weakness.. If you want them to happen chase them..I really wish you never feel how it feels to give up on your dreams!!

#عن ...

#عن ناس كنت بتكلم معاهم في كل حاجة من غير ماتفكر و دلوقتي بتفكر قبل حتي ما تروح تكلم معاهم !!

#عن message كل ما تيجي تبعتها تفكر الف مرة و في الاخر تمسحها !

#عن كل مرة كان نفسنا نقول او نعمل حاجة جه وقتها بس ماكنش عندنا الشجاعة و لما جات الشجاعة كان راح وقتها ..

#عن كل مره قلت مش وقته ، لحد ما فات وقته ..

#عن ناس كنا بنتلكك عشان تجمعنا بيهم الصدف و لو قابلناهم صدفة دلوقتي قلبنا بيوجعنا !

#عن احلامي اللي شوفتها بتتبخر قدامي واحد ورا التاني !

#عن نصيحة اديتها لحد و كان نفسك تعمل بيها بس الكلام دايما اسهل من العمايل !

 

 

Only in my head..

And when I thought that giving the time some time is the right thing to do, it turned to be the worst thing I did.. And when I thought that I have found all the answers to my questions, questions changed and the answers remained unknown..And When I thought that the time is not right to find answers to all questions in my head, the right time slipped and it never came back again.. And when I thought that hanging on will take me to the right place, letting go was even closer to the right place. ..And then all the thoughts became only thoughts in my head..

I learnt...

It took me couple of ups and downs, heartbreaks, depression and happiness to learn In few years that everything we want to happen will happen only if you decided you want it enough and exerted enough effort to earn it, and there is no exerted effort that is wasted as long as you really wanted the thing and still after all of that sometimes one thing goes wrong and everything you want becomes everything you wanted. You shouldn't worry about that because it was never meant to be, and if it was yours you would have gotten it.. I also learnt that we only come to love people when we absolutely know everything about them and most importantly we accept and understand our differences. Understand that our differences are what make us perfect for each other.. The moment we want to change them is the moment you know you really don't love who they are, you love who they will become and that's fake conditional love .. I learnt that we come to happiness by forgiveness.. If we forgive others but always remember the lesson, if we stop blaming ourselves for taking the wrong decisions, making the wrong moves, saying the wrong things, forgive ourselves and others, learn and move forward, we will be content and happy. I learnt that everything will seem fine in your head if you never looked outside of it.. You will only hear, see and feel what you have in your head and that might not be very well perceived by others, you have to get outside of you. Its not you and only you, its you and the outer world. I have learnt a lot of things and still there are a lot more to learn and I wish not to learn them all the hard way :) #nwtfy

Here comes the point..

Here comes the point where taking a decision is the only decision you have to take and standing in the middle is not an option anymore..
Here comes the point where turning the page will not help, and closing the book is becoming the only option..
Here comes the point where letting go is becoming harder than holding on..
Here comes the point where letting go needs more strength than anything else in the world..
Here comes the point where a broken heart is becoming the reason behind all the points :)

Don't Grow Up, It's a Trap!

My mother always told me that growing up and growing old are not the same, she told me that all the people will grow old but not necessarily grow up... And I never noticed the difference until the very first moment I noticed the very first white hair and how I thought about it.. Until the very first moment I felt that being comfortable is more important than being happy and that happiness will evo...lve out of comfort... Until the very first moment I knew that being happy and comfortable is not always enough, feeling blessed and content with what I have and what I don't is more important and this is when true happiness and comfort will evolve... Until the very first moment I realized that everything happens for a reason, the good things, the bad things and even if we don't get to understand the reasons, God will lead us to answers for all our questions when the right time comes. My mother always told me that growing old is easy, but she never told me that growing up is that hard.. Don’t grow up, it's a trap!

#عن

#عن الحاجة الوحيدة اللي بتسعدنا في حياتنا و ماعديتش موجودة و حاجات كتيرة في حياتنا موجودة بس ماعديتش بتسعدنا
  #عن ناس غلط دخلوا حياتنا في الوقت الصح
و #عن ناس صح دخلوا حياتنا في الوقت الغلط
و #عن ناس دخلوا و خرجوا عشان بس يلخبطولنا حياتنا و تفكيرنا
#عن حاجات ماتت بس هتفضل عايشه جوانا و مبتتنيسيش
#عن ناس حبناهم و محبوناش و ناس حبونا و محبناهومش
#عن فكرة الموت اللي بتوجع قلبنا علي فراق مش بمزاجنا و حاجة هتفضل طول عمرها اكبر من تفكيرنا و تخيلاتنا
#عن كلام و مواقف وجعتلنا قلبنا بس رايحتلنا بالنا
#عن دماغنا اللي وجعتنا و قلبنا المقهور من أسئلة كتير بتيجي في بالنا لما نشوف ناس كنا بنحبهم و نفسنا نعرف أيه اللي حصل و ليه
#عن كل واحد عامل بأصله و تربيته حتي لما القدامه ماكنش يستاهل

And the only constant about life is...

People change. They deny it, and ask you to understand. We think that their change what bothers us, yet it was never the change that bothers us since the only constant about life is the change. Its them acting as if nothing changed is what bothers us. Its them acting as if nothing happened is what bothers us. Its them acting as if it was all in our heads is what bothers us. They were not brave enough to pursue it further is what bothers us. They are not brave enough to admit it is what bothers us. They will not be brave enough to face it is what bothers us. So it was never about the change, it was all about ignoring that we actually changed and avoiding the reasons why we did #nwtfy

Friends Becoming Strangers!

Its funny how fast we become friends with strangers, and then we call them close and then we become strangers again! And it was never becoming strangers that annoys us. It was calling them close without actually being close that annoys us. It was all about the good things we did knowing that they might not deserve, wishing they would and we still do it will all the love in the world. It was all about the time and effort exerted to make them happy knowing that they might not share their happiness with us, wishing they would and still we exert it with all the love in the world. It was all about the thoughts we have and the expectations we have set without thinking that they might not be up to them, wishing they would and still we did it with all the love in the world. It was always about calling them close and knowing deep inside they are not wishing they were, that hurt us #nwtfy

The Little Things That Never Mattered!

Its funny how we do the little things knowing they won't matter, wishing they would and we still do them. And its was never doing them that hurt us. It was putting all the love in the world into the little things and finding out that it never really mattered what hurts. It was putting all the sincerity we have into the fine details and finding out that it never really mattered what hurts. It was looking for a smile on their face when you do the little things for them and not even waiting for a thank you that was never said and finding out it never really mattered what hurts. And it was never doing the little things that really hurts because we were happy doing it and we were willing to do more, it was always about doing the right things for the wrong people, finding out that they didn't deserve, wishing they did, that hurts #nwtfy

Reasons Behind Our Sadness!

Its funny that we still feel sad even after knowing all the differences, setting all the possibilities and talking all the could have beens !Its sad because while looking back at everything we have done with all the love, we have found that we are ready to make them over and over again putting more love into them! Its sad because we also have done things that are so not us and we cannot undone or forget that we have done them. Its sad because we had thoughts and dreams that made us happy and we still have more thoughts and dreams that we shouldn't have! Its sad because we still care even though they don't need or even care about it and we cannot stop it. Its sad because they started avoiding us and even worse neglecting us. Its sad because we have broken some walls for them that we cannot build them again. Its sad because we have given the time some time wishing things would get better, finding them getting worse ! And it wasn't only sad because we have seen the truth and we neglected it , but because we still have had hope that things might change knowing the fact they wouldn't ! #nwtfy

Everything Happens for A Reason

Sometimes it is better to get heart broken than feeling cold because you know that you are still able to love. Sometimes it is okay to meet people who will break all our walls without getting in and that will help other people, right people to get in. Sometimes it is better to meet wrong people so that we appreciate the right people when we meet them. Sometimes it is better not to ask questions, better not to understand, better not ask why, how and what and better not know because most of the times answers hurt, truth hurts and findings hurt. And most of these times, everything happens for a reason and we will never know why it happened until it is the right time to know :) #nwtfy

and if you have little, give of your heart..

They say "If you have much, give of your wealth. If you have little, give of your heart" and I say giving of your wealth is an easy thing, giving of your heart shall always be the hardest! And it is the hardest because you shall always remember how you felt and how you made them feel ! Still, give of your heart regardless of anything and do it with all the sincerity that you have and that's how you will always be remembered! Having a giving heart is not an easy thing so please take care of it ! #nwtfy

And everyday life gets harder..

Nobody told me that growing old is that hard ! And its not only hard because of having hard to understand people instead of having the most complicated Mathematical problem to understand. Its not only hard because of having broken hearts instead of having broken toys. Its not only hard because of losing hopes, dreams and people instead of losing toys and grades. Its not only hard because of having to go back and forth before saying anything instead of saying what comes to our minds like when we were young and no one could blame us because we were kids !Its not only hard because we have to wear our smile all the time instead of crying if we want to because we can't do that as grown ups. And it is not only about growing old, its also about growing up -unwillingly- because life has been giving us lessons that we sometimes understand and that's what we call happy times and sometimes we don't and that what we call experience. God give us the power and serenity to grow up and old in one piece ! #nwtfy

This goes to..

This goes to someone who supports other people while they need the support more than ever. This goes to someone who gives out the best advice while they need to listen to them the most. This goes to someone who pushes people away while they need them around to help them. This goes to someone who used their energy in building walls and walls around them while they need to break them all. This goes to someone who seems tough and strong while they are the weakest. This goes to someone who seems rough while they are fragile. This goes to someone who pushed loved people away while they need them most. This goes to someone who seemed the happiest while they are the saddest. This goes to someone whom I silently watched them helplessly drowning into another one they never wanted to become!

I Believe..

I believe in Black and White, but I need to see other shades too. I believe in right and wrong, but I need to understand excuses too. I believe in straight forwardness but I need to check other routes too. I believe in signs, but I need to understand the logic behind too. I believe in strength, but I need to understand that sometimes it is okay to be weak. I believe in trust, but I need to trust the right people. I believe in giving, but I need to balance when I don't receive. I believe in change and ironically I am sure that it is the only constant about life. I believe that all the things I believe in might let me down and that the only belief I am certain about is my believe in God and that's the most important because that's the only belief that will never let me down #nwtfy

Please Don't Lose Your Humanity!

Life is too short. In fact too short to be wasted on things that are not meaningful for you ! We waste our lives thinking too much about how people will think about us, what will they say if we do or that to end up not only wasting our lives but also wasting chances. We spend our lives working very hard and too much to earn money and secure things that lack the real meaning of security and we end up not only wasting our lives but wasting our peace of mind, health and money too! We became too fast to notice others, how they feel regarding what we say, are we taking care of our loved ones or not are we giving and taking or not and most importantly giving our families their quality time and effort and unfortunately we end up alone, far from people and we lost our sincerity !! Life is too short to be wasted so please make sure that your loved ones know you do, make sure you are not wasting chances, make sure you are doing something you love and if not try to love it and please don't lose your humanity in life fast pace !

And We Will Never Know..

And we will never understand, until we know what went wrong.

And we will never know what went wrong, until we acknowlegde it.

And we will never acknowledge it,until we beat our fear of knowing the truth.

And we will never beat our fear, until we face what hurts us.

And we will never know if it will stop hurting us, until we decide to move on.

And we will never know if we really moved on, until we embrace new better things.

And we will never know what we fear, until we decide to face it.

And we will never know what we had, until we lose it.

And we will never know what we lost, until we miss it.

And we will never miss it, until we know its importance.

And we will never know, until we decide to know !

And we will never decide, until it hurts us and we cannot breath anymore, think anymore, love anymore, give anymore, take anymore, shine bright anymore and most importantly being a person we don't like anymore because we became the person that we don't want to become!